Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Twin Flame

This is the best and clearest definition of a Twin Flame I have read. John was definitely mine and I was his.

Credit: http://www.ewao.com/a/1-4-signs-you-have-met-your-twin-flame/ 

What is a twin flame? 
A twin flame is a different and more profound connection in many ways than even a soul mate.  While we can have many soul mates in our life, both platonic and romantic, there is only one twin flame.  This is because the twin flame is understood as generally a physically embodied soul expression which is the polar or complimentary aspect to your own soul.  I have heard it explained that, in a sense, when source was dividing into infinite expressions of consciousness for the purpose of experiencing itself, each soul coming to experience duality was split into two parts of a whole.  Therefore the twin flame could be understood to be the other half of one’s own soul.
However, we must be careful to understand that while we may experience the twin flame connection or we may not this does not mean we are not whole and complete unto our self.  And indeed this is one of the lessons the twin flame comes to teach. Here are 4 signs you have met your twin flame:
1-      An Intense Acceleration of Evolution: Usually when twin flames meet, the instant and intense chemistry is followed by a rapid acceleration of personal development and evolution for both the twins and for each of them individually.  The twin reflects aspects of the self that are deep and profound and therefore when twins meet, the energy created will often spur both twins to uncover major soul gifts, bring them both quickly onto their soul path with purpose, and help to clear away those belief systems and paradigms that are outdated.
2-      An Eternal Sense of Knowing: When you meet your twin flame, it will be a feeling unlike any other connection you have ever had in this life, and yet the feeling will touch something unspeakable familiar and beautiful in your heart.  You will feel and know that you have known this soul for eternity.  You naturally feel one with this person and the love is immense and powerful.
3-      Peace and/or Chaos: As mentioned, the meeting of the twin flame is not for the faint of heart, which is why plenty of souls choose not to do so in their current incarnation.  Twin flame relationships can either soar with an unbelievable expansion of love and acceptance or can violently crash and burn in chaos and pain if either twin is in resistance and unwilling or not ready to release beliefs, habits, and paradigms that are preventing an experience of love without attachment and expectation.  These relationships will challenge both partners to the core. 
4-      The Sex is of a Different Caliber: Many twin flames will probably unite in sexual experiences that may be unlike any other they have had before.  This is because the soul-level connection is profound.  Twin flames may experience sexual union outside of or beyond the physical body-i.e. astral sex.  Astral sex can be experienced as the feeling of one’s spirit fully merging with the twins spirit, and this can happen with or without physical intercourse.  While sexual intercourse always is a time for union and mergence, with the twin flame it can truly take on an other-worldy quality where through the gateways of one another’s eyes, other places in space and time can be seen and past, future, and concurrent lives can be accessed.
These are just a few main characteristics of the amazing twin flame bond.  Everyone will experience it differently and these relationships ca have many different outcomes depending on the life paths of both people.  Ultimately you will know you have found your twin flame by the deep resonance you feel within.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016


I have read many books about the afterlife, and the metaphysical, and how time is a construct for this earthly life. Apparently, while no one alive can say for sure, time is non-existent in the non-physical world.
Yet, I can't help but think about time and how it relates to John being gone. I still count how long it has been since we have been together. And I wish I knew how long I have to wait until we are together again. I know John has the advantage right now because it won't be long at all from his perspective.
And then there is the time we did spend together in this lifetime. John spent the rest of his life with me. He spent his last weekend making me happy by visiting my family with me in New York City, a place he was not fond of.
I remember telling people after he passed that we didn't have enough time together, that even if we had had twice as long together it still would not have been long enough.
I heard this song again today while I was out driving. Jim Croce was one of John's favorite singers and the CD that this song was on was in the player of his car when he died. Makes me wonder if there isn't a message there.

Monday, January 18, 2016

A loss on so many levels

The Eagles were probably John's favorite band. He loved the "Hotel California" and their song "Lyin' Eyes" became a private joke between us early on in our relationship. The reason is not necessary but suffice it to say that we found it funny. Over the years, every time the song came on, John would poke me and say "There's your song" and we'd enjoy a moment together.
The song became even more important to me after John died.
It was the first song he sent to me after he passed. I knew it was from him and I knew he was trying to make me smile once again even in my sorrow.
Even now, over 5 years later, the song pops up every so often and I know it's from John.
So, the song, and thus the band, is very important to me.
And today I learned that the founder of The Eagles Glenn Fry has also died. And he was only 67, just like John was when he passed.
I am feeling like I have lost something on so many levels but I know Heaven is experiencing some good music tonight.
RIP, Glenn. Thank you for the good music.

Saturday, January 16, 2016

It's a constant

Many don't understand this and assume if you are still sad after losing a piece of your heart many years later there is something wrong with you. They don't understand that when you lose your soul mate, your true other half, you are always incomplete and always carry sadness within you. You just learn to hide it better over time.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Saw this this morning

and cried. It's a beautiful song/video and brought back so much from those first few hours/day/night without John. I remember hating that the world still went on when mine had stopped.
Now, it's a little easier. Doesn't mean I like it any more than I did then. I still wish with all my might that John could be here with me. Instead, I look forward to being There with him. Goodness knows, it's better than here. This school we call Earth is hard. But it serves a purpose. And for now, I am trying to find reason for me still being here and making the most of my time left.
And that is what this song is ultimately saying.
It's sad but it's hopeful.
It is important to note that the woman singing this song - Joey Feek - is herself dying as I write this. That is her husband Rory in the video with her.