Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Found some old pictures yesterday

I don't know what year this was taken. Based on how John looks I would date it after the Air Force and before he went to Old Dominion.
So, most likely late 60's, maybe 1967 or 1968. That would make John about 25 or 26 years old.
I still have that guitar. It sits in our living room, a link to John.

Monday, July 17, 2017

Practicing independence

John did so much for us. He took such good care of our home - and me.
It's hard when I have to depend on others now to do things that he once did. I have been lucky in that I have found a lot of good people to fill John's shoes - from landscapers to handyman to A/C repairmen. And I know he is sending these people to me.
But sometimes I just want things done on my time and not wait for others.

This past weekend was one of those times.
First I changed the rug on the deck. Moved furniture. Picked up the old rug.
Got the new rug in place. Put the furniture back.
Turned out great.

Then I wanted a storage unit for the laundry room. I saw one in Target that looked nice and that seemed easy enough for me to put together myself. Dragging the heavy box home was a challenge. Then yesterday I decided to put it together. But I did it.
After putting my furry helpers in the bedroom so I wouldn't have to worry about Sean hiding pieces of hardware, I took a deep breath and started.
And it was nice using John's tools. I felt like he was with me.
I was tired by the time I finished but I think it turned out okay.

John always admired my stubborn streak. He knows I'm never going to change. I know he's smiling.

Sunday, July 9, 2017

I am so blessed

7 billion people on this planet and you picked me.
How lucky am I? I still feel your love - across space, across time.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Another Hello

I saw this the other day when I was out having lunch with friends. A heart and the numbers I see so often from John. John's birthday was April 13, 1943 - 4/43.
Thank you, Sweetheart.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Even the sound of his voice is precious to me

While cleaning out my John's desk a while ago, I found a couple of old cassette tapes that his mother had recorded many years ago. They were of John playing the guitar and singing some old folk songs. The recording was from January 1969. The quality of the recording wasn't very good - it was a recording of a recording. John had been singing for a group of residents at a convalescent home so it was probably in their day room and the acoustics were not the best.

But still it was gold to me. It was my John and he was singing. John serenaded me often in our early years. And he had a very good voice. He had won awards in talent shows and had actually once been the opening act for Judy Collins back in the day when she had appeared back east at some venue.

I know the recording means absolutely nothing to anyone else but I am so glad I have this. I spent yesterday morning making a digital copy of the tapes using my iPad and then transferring the files to my computer and then to Dropbox on my phone so I can carry them around with me and listen to them whenever I want.

At one point while I was making my copies, the tape unraveled in the machine but with the utmost care I was able to salvage it with no ill effects. I'm sure some people today have no idea what that even means.

The last couple of days have been rough with some family issues and I have been missing John a lot and having a grief surge. Hearing him sing again has been a blessing.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Loving message from John

On Friday I was part of a group reading given by my friend who is a medium - Susanne Wilson, known as the Carefree Medium. I have known Susanne for years and she even wrote the Foreword to my book. She is a talented and compassionate woman.
Anyway, John came through and one of the messages he gave was that he was going to send me a special song, probably on my way home.
John often does that so I looked forward to it. As I drove home I turned on Pandora. In my heart, I just knew it was going to be the third song and it was.
It was "I'm Yours" a beautiful song by Jason Mraz [the Pandora version was sung by a different group but the message was the same. It was the song that mattered].