Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Countdown

Five yeas ago today John and  started on our last trip together, to New York, to visit family.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

"I wish I had found you sooner so I could have loved you longer."

The above saying has been floating around Facebook for quite some time now but its meaning is so true.
I wish I had met John sooner. Thirty-two years together wasn't long enough.
I wonder what it would have been like to know him as a younger man.




Sunday, May 10, 2015

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

Miss you both so much.
Frances Collins - 29 years old

Frances with baby John 2 weeks old
John and Mom April 2010

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

A big Hello and message

Last week I was driving to meet some friends. The event was a play in Phoenix and while I knew the person who invited me to join the group, I didn’t know any of the other women. There were going to be six of them that were strangers to me, a situation I found unnerving.So, as I drove to meet these new people, I spoke to John, asking him to be with me to alleviate my nervousness.
While I was driving I was also playing my new Josh Groban album on my iPhone, pumping it via the Bluetooth through my car speakers. Right after I said my little prayer to John one of my all-time favorite songs came on “You’ll Never walk Alone.” Josh did a great job with it and I was carried away by the emotion of the song. Just then a white SUV pulled up next to me on my left and then sped up a little ways. I could see his license plate. I love reading other license plates. It’s fun to see what people like to put on the back of their car. So, as this car’s plate moved into my line of vision I automatically started to read it. Imagine my surprise to see “JONNY” in large letters. Mind you, “You’ll Never Walk Alone” was still playing loudly in my car.
John was with me. I smiled and said Thank you.
But it doesn’t end there.
Yesterday I was again driving. This time I was on my way to pick up Bella from day care. Again I was playing Josh’s album and once again had come to this song. I was just enjoying it and remembering what had happened last time I heard it. I was feeling thankful for the message from John.
And then it hit me. Not only had John been telling me he would be with me that particular day but he was telling me that he would always be with me. That was the real message. I am not alone and I won’t be as long as I am alive on this planet. John loves me with all his heart. That won’t change just because we are separated by different dimensions.
That is the message for all of us. Our loved ones are with us.
That’s when I knew. That is the title for the book I am working on. I had been struggling with that, trying out different titles but none seemed to work.
Now I know in my heart what it is and it feels right.
You’ll Never Walk Alone.