Sunday, June 28, 2015

Past lives together

I believe in reincarnation and so did John. And we knew we had been together as husband and wife before too. It just felt right.
So this past week, I underwent a past life regression with a woman who has been trained to do this.
It was a very interesting experience. Of course there is no way to verify any of the information but it was still a very eye-opening experience.
And yes, John was there.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Surrounding myself with our life and love

I recently received an online coupon for a blanket that was decorated with photos. I made it through a company called Collage.com.
I am going to love snuggling with all these wonderful memories.

Monday, June 15, 2015

John helped save a little life

I recently made a donation to the Arizona Humane Society in John's name in honor of his five year anniversary. Lauren [at AZHS] helped me by putting it toward their new Puppy Parvo ICU.
She sent me this notification last week:
I wanted to share the story of one Puppy Parvo ICU patient who has an amazing new life thanks in part to your donation in John’s memory.  Duncan is pictured below...he was just skin and bones when he came in, and had quite a rough go of it during his Parvo treatment.  He actually had further intestinal complications, but our Second Chance Animal Hospital veterinarians were able to perform a surgery, and he pulled through.  He is now in his new adoptive home and loving life!  I’ve personally met this little dude and he is the sweetest, most gentle little pup.  
Thank you so much, Joy, for always supporting AHS and the animals in honor of John.



This makes my heart happy and I know John is happy too.

Sunday, June 7, 2015

John's 30 year nursing school graduation aniversary

John's 5 year anniversary overshadowed another milestone. On May 19, 1985 John graduated from nursing school. I was so proud of him. He worked very hard for that degree, working full-time while going to school full-time. Graduation Day was wonderful and we had a fabulous party afterwards complete with a tent in the yard.
Student nurse - 1983

Graduation Day May 19, 1985
Graduation Day May 19, 1985
Graduation Day May 19, 1985
 
Party under the tent





Wednesday, June 3, 2015

So grateful

I am a better me because of John. And I hope and pray that I was good for him, too.


"Because You Loved Me"


For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Please - no platitudes

Vice-President Joe Biden's son passed away yesterday.
It's so sad to think about.
And people on Facebook and other places are all posting about it.
So it naturally has started a conversation about death and how it affects those left behind.
And that's good.
I hope it helps others who are mourning to know they are not alone.
But I also hope it helps others who are not mourning to learn how to help those who are.
Please, please learn the right things to say.
What I think I hated most [and still do] about my time immediately after John passed were those stupid things that people say to those who have lost a loved one to death. I know people mean well but in truth they are trying to make themselves feel better, not the one who is grieving.
Especially any statement that starts with "I know how you feel......"
No, you don't. You don't and can't know how I feel. You will never know how I feel.
Especially please don't have the audacity to compare it to something like "...because I lost my dog." Yes, some stupid woman had the nerve to say that to me just weeks after John passed.
Or even to compare it to someone else you lost.
Even if you too lost your husband.
I lost John. And his John-ness. No one can understand what that means.
Just like I can't understand what it means to you to have lost someone close to you, even if it is your husband. I didn't know your husband as you did. Only you know that and what his loss means to you.
What a person who is grieving needs is your caring.
You being there.
You can't make it better. Nothing you say or do will make it better. Right at that moment all a person wants is their loved one back, and you can't do that.
So don't say "It's God's will" or "He's in a better place."
Frankly, I wanted to hit anyone who said that.
Just say "I'm here."  "I know you are hurting. This is awful. Let me sit here with you."
Cry with them. Don't say "Don't cry." There is going to be a lot of crying and if that makes you uncomfortable, stay away.
Hold their hand. Offer to do some of the mundane things that need to be done.
Or simply just be.
But please, please lose the platitudes.
They don't help at all.
Or some day someone may get the strength to hit you.