Sunday, May 24, 2020

Thursday, May 14, 2020

In 10 days it will be 10 years

The Shoes 👠👠
I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes. I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
Many will gossip and say hurtful things about how I wear my shoes.
Yet I can tell in their eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never ask about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much as they did at first but the ache is always there.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost her husband.
~ Author Unknown ~

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Fly high, Mom!

Millie Palastro
1926 - 2020
Millie Rita Farruggio Palastro left this world early this morning after an illness.
Alzheimer disease took her mentally several years ago and COVID took her physically today.
She was preceded in death by her loving husband Pat.
She is survived by her children, Joy, June, and Gary and many grandchildren, nieces and nephews.
She will be missed.

Thursday, April 23, 2020

Dream visits from our loved ones

I have been asked to talk about communication with our loved ones who have passed and one of the most satisfying ways is through dream visits.
Time and time again, I have heard from those who are mourning say they have dreamt of their loved ones and the dream seemed “so real”. That’s because in all likelihood, it was not a dream but a true visit.
My metaphysical teachers have told me that when we sleep, we are more receptive to the energy of the afterlife and can have wonderful adventures. Those more highly evolved souls report traveling to other dimensions and attending school where they learn what they need to advance their soul.
But for our purposes we are going to explore how you can visit with your loved one while you are in the dream state.
I had what I thought was a very vivid dream the first night after John had passed. John came to me and we finally had the good-bye we weren’t able to have earlier that day. It’s personal and I won’t go into the details but it felt very real. The dream had none of the qualities that some dreams do where things don’t make sense and people and objects appear strange. John had substance, for lack of a better word. The impressions were so vivid I remember them to this day. But when I awoke, while I was happy to have been in John’s presence I thought it was just a very realistic and vivid dream. I didn’t know then as I do know now about dream visits and instead chalked it up to my driving need to have John back with me.
Since that first night, I have had several of these visits from John on the Other Side.
What do all these dreams have in common? How do we know they are visits and not just our imagination?
Why are they so common?
What separates a dream visit from just an everyday run-of-the-mill dream?
There seem to be certain characteristics common to these types of dreams.
But first let’s talk a little bit about how and why they happen. Or at least what the consensus is. No one obviously can say for sure but based on some pretty good research and hundreds, if not thousands of reports, we can come to some consistent conclusions.
As we have already discussed our loved ones who have passed “live” on another plane or dimension. Most often this is referred to as the astral plane and it is made of energy. When we sleep, we are open to that dimension. We are more receptive. Our loved ones can reach us on that energy/thought plane.
And why is obvious. In this life, when we are away from loved ones, isn’t it almost instinctive to want to communicate with those we have left behind to tell them we have arrived at our destination, we are well, and we love those we miss?
It is the same for our loved ones who have passed; certainly, for our soul mates who know only too well how much we are mourning their passing.
So, they enter our minds during our dream state and we can “visit”.
How do you know if these dreams are in fact visits?
Consistently these dreams have characteristics unlike what we call ordinary dreams. Everyone has had those crazy wild dreams that you think about as soon as you wake up and ask “What was THAT all about?” - those are the dreams that make no sense and drift away as soon as your head clears and you start the day.
But dreams that are visits from our loved ones and soul mates who have passed are very different. They consistently share the same descriptions:
1 – A sense of touch and/or reality – I remember the first thing that made me sit up and take notice was that I could “feel” John. If he hugged me or squeezed me in an embrace, it was real, as real as if a person were to do that in my waking state. Often, I awoke still feeling his touch on my skin. In a dream where I found his backpack left behind on the bench, I remember picking it up, feeling the leather on my fingers, and the sense of the papers rustling inside it. Other laws of reality also apply. There is no morphing of objects, no underwater swimming with mermaids, no flying over skyscrapers.
2 – Our loved ones are happy. They smile. They convey to us that they are all right. They usually look younger and healthy.
3 – These dreams stay with us. They don’t fade away as our day goes on. In fact, people report still remembering these types of dreams months and years later in full detail. I know I do. I can still feel how John held me and told me he was never going to leave me again in one visit. I know exactly where his hand was on my arm. I cherish what he told me.
4 – Sometimes, these dreams will relay a message. Again, going back to my dream about his backpack, John was clearly telling me that I needed to get it from his locker at work. I had forgotten all about it and I have no idea if I ever would have remembered it if he hadn’t shown that to me. This occurred three months after his death and it is now over nine years and I still remember details of that visit.
5 – Communication may not be verbal but it will always be clear and understood. Sometimes, the messages conveyed will appear to be telepathic but we will easily understand our loved one.
6 – The dream visit will always leave you with a sense of peace and love. My cousin Claudia told me that she had a definite feeling of closure after John visited her in a dream about a month after he passed. He told her that it was his time to go and he didn’t want her to be sad. She said she felt his hug (she always loved his hugs) and when she awoke she knew he was okay and that she was going to be okay too. While she still missed him, she knew she could now heal. Sometimes, my dream visits from John make me a little sad upon awakening but that is only because I wished I could have dreamed longer about him. I cherish every one of the times he has come to me and the feelings of love stay with me for hours, if not days. Who am I kidding? I still feel his love and I am grateful for the times we get to spend like that. It is a true gift.

Monday, April 13, 2020

Happy birthday, John!

Today is/would have been John's 77th birthday.
Sending you so much love, Sweetheart.
I am grateful for all the memories of us.
This was the first time we celebrated John's birthday together. He was 35.

Thursday, March 19, 2020

Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart!

John and I eloped back in August 1981.
A few years later, on March 19, 1988 - 32 years ago today - we were remarried in the Catholic Church. John also converted to Catholicism on that day and we had a beautiful ceremony and a wonderful party afterwards.

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Sunday, March 15, 2020

Happy Bunkie Day, Sweetheart!

40 years ago today John and I moved in together and started a wonderful life.
John named the day Bunkie Day and made us lasagne that night to celebrate.
A truly wonderful day. ❤️
Love you, John!

Saturday, January 11, 2020

New Year, new strategy

As a nurse, I have often encountered death.  It was always tough, even when the death was expected. As a medical person, we often strive to fight death. We tend to see it as the enemy to be conquered.
I don't do well with unexpected outcomes and for that reason steered clear of working in the Emergency Room where, by definition, you never knew what could come rolling through the door.
The ICU was also on my Never list because those patients were gravely ill and their condition could turn sour in a heartbeat.
But my husband thrived in that environment and he loved his time working night shift in the ICU.
But then there would be nights when chaos reigned. Sometimes, it seemed to be contagious and before the night was over, several people may have gone on to Heavenly Home.
John referred to those nights as the times when Jesus was making rounds.
Maybe it's just me but it seems Jesus has been making rounds in the celebrity world lately.
Was it just my perception because the majority seemed to be my peers in age?
So, I checked some statistics.
Did you know that, on average, across the world 6,316 people die each hour?
Each. Hour.
We never hear about 99.99% of them but they are important to those who loved them.
They leave behind a hole where once their presence was felt.
Spouse or sibling, parent or friend. Even our pets are missed and mourned.
So, then my mind went further down this rabbit hole.
What if each of those people had a chance to not die? What would they have done?
Or not done?
To put it more personally, what if right now, this very minute you or I were faced with this choice?
Stay or go?
What would you do?
And if you stayed, would you do anything differently?

I devoted a whole chapter in my book to the "gifts of grief" and while that may seem like an odd thing, it really isn't. Grief allows us to see things in a new way. For me, it has meant evaluating how I deal with my immediate world. 
I am trying to no longer get wrapped up worrying about small stuff and holding on to things that no longer serve me. I’m not saying this is easy. Believe me, if there was a prize for worry, I win.
All the time. 
Don't even bother to apply.
And I ruminate which is a perfect way to waste energy.
So, my goal is to let go of things that don't matter in the long run and speak out and up and fix what I can - and then move forward.
Changing my ways will take work. But the result will be so freeing. I imagine this is how our loved ones feel on the Other Side. They can see things from a perspective that we don’t have - yet. 
But that doesn’t mean that we can’t try.
So that is part of my resolution for this new year.
Letting go of stuff - emotional and real. Because my garage and closets really need to be cleaned out too. Holding on to physical things that we no longer need is another form of useless baggage that saps our soul.
Maybe you also have some baggage you can get rid of.
Hey, it's worth a try.