You know those letters that signify your marital status? S M D W?
I hate that I have to check W now. Sometimes I don't. It feels like a betrayal. A finality I'm not ready to face.
Then today I had to fill out another form. The person [a secretary to my broker] had filled out most of the form and just wanted my signature. But I noticed where it asked for status she had checked S.
Man, that upset me. That was even worse than W. To deny that my marriage even existed. That all those years never happened. That was the ultimate betrayal.
I fixed it. I checked W and crossed out the S.
Even a W was better than an S.
My marriage happened. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I am a better person because of my marriage to John. I always will be.
I yearn to be an M again with him.