Saturday, August 3, 2013

An epiphany

I have been reading metaphysical books about the afterlife like crazy ever since John passed. I have this insatiable need to know where John is, what he is doing, that he's OK.
The book I am reading now said something that touched me. It talked about letting go, not meaning that our loved ones are leaving us but releasing them so that we can have a new relationship with them in the way they are now, so that they can reach out to us. The book said that when we hold on to the past and mourn heavily that it blocks communication.
And so I was driving today and thinking about that and listening to this song and the words took on new meaning.
I know - I trust - I believe - that John still loves me with all his heart just as he did when he was here physically. And I still love him, maybe more than ever. So I need to allow him to forge a new relationship with me so that we can still be together - him where he is and me where I am now - until we can be together again.
And suddenly I felt good inside. I felt John loving me. And I realized I was actually smiling!
Can it be that that is the answer?
Can it be that simple?
I felt I heard John telling me in my head that this was the answer.
To trust him.
To continue to love him.
That he would always be my John.

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