Sunday, May 15, 2011

51 Weeks - and the countdown begins

Tonight marks 51 weeks since my Love has been physically gone from me.
From here on out, the days remaining are single digits, less than a week. It is still incomprehensible to me. Maybe I'm stupid. Maybe I'm slow. Maybe my heart and soul just can't or won't believe what has happened to us. Some days I think I never will.
Yet, I know what the reality is. I know I'm not crazy. But to sit and comprehend what this means some days is just more than I can bear.
And yet I have. I have managed to get through almost a whole year. I am still here. I am functioning. I have even managed to get things done. I am working. I am taking care of others and myself. The house is still intact and in good repair. Somehow all this has happened.
I know this experience is changing me. I am even a little scared what that might mean. I hope I am changing in good ways. And maybe this is all part of some grand plan. Maybe all of this had to happen this way. John and I always believed everything happens the way it's supposed to so I guess I have to trust that.

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