The little things

Yesterday I watched a TV show and I was immediately reminded of John. I have no idea what the show was now or what it was about but I can still remember the exact second that it made me think of John. It was a 3/4 shot of the male character. He was seated and wearing an open-neck shirt and his neck was turned in such a way that I felt I was looking at John. Not his face, not his voice, just his neck.

It was John's neck. 

Such a small thing. But there it was. For a brief fraction of a second my heart felt home.

Then today I went to the movies. I just had to get out of the house. The movie was nothing to write home about but toward the end the two main characters held hands finally and again I was transported. I remember that first time; that almost tentative reach from John and then how happy I was to hold on. 

And never wanting to let go.

Our last day together John reached for my hand as we crossed the street on our way back to our hotel and I can still remember how good it felt. We held on to each other so comfortably and laughed and talked as we strolled back, never knowing how little time was left.

But the good feeling was still there.

And I am so grateful.