As I mentioned in my last post, I am experiencing a health challenge right now. And I would be lying if I said I wasn't concerned and a little scared. In the past, John was always here to hold my hand and erase my fears with one of his wonderful hugs. So, traveling this road alone is new for me and not without some anxiety.
But I have been
determined to soldier on. And because of that I have been forced to look
elsewhere for support. And that has led me to some new insights that I
do not believe were just coincidences. In fact, I now think that was a
hidden gift in this experience.
Let me explain.
transitioned, my need for connection with him led me to a new level in
my spiritual life that I would never have attained had it not been for
his passing. In my book, I spoke about how that was just one of the
gifts he gave me.
But I admit, over the years, even though I still
learned at every opportunity - and there were many - there have been
times in the last couple of years that I may have gotten a bit
complacent. I know in the last few months, for example, I was not
meditating as much as I had been before or should be.
And then "this" happened.
In my quest for answers, I turned to God and to John and my Team. I started meditating again.
I took a step back and evaluated what was important in my life and what needed to be let go.
I asked John for advice and the message I heard in my head was "Get purer."
interesting comment. John was very fond of saying "Things are happening
the way they are supposed to." He didn't push against things. Instead,
he let things roll off his back. He was very forgiving. He prayed.
Then I started meditating again and I asked for answers there too. The message was loud and clear.
And very similar.
Don't worry so much.
Let things go.
Practice the Serenity Prayer.
Do more of this (meditating).
takes many forms. I have talked most often about grief
as it relates to losing my soul mate but we humans grieve other losses too.
Losing health is a loss that surely shakes us up and puts potholes where
once we had a straight safe path.
So, once again, being shaken up
has forced me to reassess and while I am not happy about my situation, I
am trying, as I did when John passed, to look for a hidden gift in all
No, I am not turning into Pollyanna. When a bad thing happens, it sucks. "This" sucks. No getting around that.
I am also not going to waste the opportunity to use this experience to
my advantage. I am going to go back to my spiritual path and aim for
serenity and peace.
It's a work in progress.