Today marks 16 months since John - left, passed away - there is no easy way to say it.
On top of that it's a Saturday - a day that always brought me pleasure. When John and I were dating it was often the first day of a weekend together - camping, hanging around the house, enjoying each other's company. No work, no worries. Then when we were married, it was often a day to run errands. But again, it was fun. We did them together and just enjoyed being together.
Now it's an empty day and my heart aches and my gut is in rumbles.
I am going to the airport this afternoon. The son of a dear friend is coming home after a long absence. It's going to be a joyous occasion. It will be good to see him again.
But it is bittersweet for me. I would give anything if I were going to the airport to pick up John. I watched my friend be sad and upset while she waited for her son to return. Yet, her sadness was finite. It ended. Today it will be in the past.
Mine never will be.