I feel flat and stuck.
Toby - our remaining dog - is not doing well and I am acutely aware that this Saturday would have been John's 70th birthday, a birthday we would have celebrated with much fanfare.
I am aware that grief comes in waves, some day or weeks being harder or easier than others.
This week is harder.
I know John is with me in the best way that he can be and I'm sure at some point I will feel better again but for now I just need to feel what I feel.