The weekends are hard and Sundays are the worst.
Maybe because John left this earth on a Sunday. Maybe because it's more of a family day and I feel his absence the most on this day.
In any case. Sundays are very hard.
And I have been feeling John's absence a lot lately. It's almost like when he first passed.
The feeling of the big hole in my heart.
The agony of knowing he is no longer here, that I can't talk to him, touch him, see him, hear his voice, hear his laugh, see his smile.
I can't see that sparkle in his eye when he sees me, knowing how happy he is that we are together.
I can't reach for him in the night and snuggle.
The finality of all that being gone is just too much.
The pain is physical.
How does anyone get through this?