Friday, December 31, 2010

Thursday, December 30, 2010


Time is a strange thing - it goes slowly when we anticipate something good, too fast when we dread, and something we can't bring back when we mourn.


If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day 'til eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do once you find them
I've looked around enough to know

That you're the one I want to go through time with

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go through time with


Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Wouldn't it be great if we could Skype to Heaven?

Today I logged on to Skype for the first time and met a friend in real time - she was in AL and I am here in Phoenix. But we could see each other while we spoke and it was almost like she was right here in my office.
After we hung up, I thought how wonderful that would be if we could connect with our loved ones who have passed on that way.
Even for just a few minutes, what a blessing to be able to see a smile or hear a voice or share a laugh. When you have none of that, anything would be so precious. Memories will have to do, and photos and old videos, but it's not the same. What I would give for just a moment in time once more.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas, Sweetheart!

Sadly, I don't have any pictures of us from last Christmas. We took lots of pictures of the kids but none of us. We took ourselves for granted. If I could go back in time I would take pictures of every minute of our life together.
I miss my Baby so much.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Counting down the days

This week has been especially hard. Everyone kept telling me that the first Christmas without John would be difficult. I guess I had no idea just how right they were going to be.
I am counting down the days. But instead of counting the days until Christmas is here like everyone else, I am counting down the days until the day after Christmas, when life can go back to being ordinary. Or at least as ordinary as it can be for me. At least the day after Christmas won't be such a painful reminder that the one person who meant love and family for me is not here to share this special holiday with me.

Friday, December 17, 2010

More Christmas

What I am finding as I go through our pictures is that we didn't take nearly enough. Certainly not enough of each other. There seemed to be more pictures of "the kids" than anything else.
Christmas 2001
Christmas 2008 - Riley's First Christmas

Christmas 2008 - John loved getting tools for presents

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Christmas memories

John - Christmas 1978 - our first
As I count the days down to Christmas, I am grateful for the memories of happy Christmases past with my Love.
Us - Christmas 1979

Monday, December 6, 2010

The holidays this year

Thanksgiving was hard and I am not looking forward to Christmas. Christmas was always a big holiday for us. Even if we just celebrated with just the two of us and "the kids", it was  a big deal. I decorated, we put up our stockings, I made food special for present-opening. We had a tradition that we opened our presents on Christmas Eve.
This year, I just can't face the decorations. There is no way I can look at John's stocking - the first time in over 30 years that I won't be putting it up.
Christmas 2001
I don't know what I will do on Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day, and New Year's Eve. Crawl into bed with the covers over my head and pray for January 1st sounds appealing.