Friday, April 19, 2019

Saturday, April 13, 2019

Happy birthday, Sweetheart!

Today is John's birthday.
He would be 76 years old.
Happy birthday, Baby! I am celebrating with you.

Friday, April 12, 2019

Another step forward

This week I rearranged the furniture in our living room and made room to move John's desk.
It had stood for almost 20 years in his office in a room off our master bedroom. Right after John passed away I could barely stand to be in that room for even a few minutes without becoming physically ill.
Gradually, that feeling eased and I was at least able to use the desk for short periods of time for bookkeeping purposes.
Then, in April 2017, almost 7 years after John died, I decided to make that room my own. Over several days I cleaned and dusted, went through filing cabinets, and shredded papers. I bought a cabinet to hold my crystals and Reiki books. I bought a new chair to meditate and read in.
The energy in the room shifted and it once again became warm and welcoming.
But I just didn't know what to do with the desk. So, it remained in the corner where it had been - now with a screen around it until I decided what to do.
Then last month, things suddenly fell into place.
I had purchased a new flat screen TV and in order to take full advantage of it, I decided to move the sofa and love seat closer to it.
And voila! A space was made for John's desk. I knew it would show itself when the time was right.
So, now it sits in the living room where it can be admired and used.
It feels good now.
And I know John is pleased.
We do this mourning and grieving thing on our own timetable. Each of us is different and that's okay.
I wasn't ready to do this any sooner than I did. But now my heart is peaceful about the changes in a way it would not have been before.