Happy 36th Wedding Anniversary, Sweetheart!

I love you and miss you so much.
Can't wait until we are together again.

John likes the flowers

Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary and today I decided to buy myself some flowers to celebrate. I know John would have done that if he were here. When I finished arranging them I turned and happened to look at the oven clock and it said 4:13.
April 13 - 4/13 - is John's birthday and one of the sets of numbers he uses to let me know he is around.
I think he was telling me he approved of the flowers and was glad I had bought them.

Hope

For years, a friend of mine has been urging me to watch a TV series called "Saving Hope". I dabbled in it but never took the plunge to watch it every week. I knew it was a medical drama series that also intertwined some interesting metaphysical issues but for some reason I just never took the time to watch it.
Until now.
Last week, she told me that the show had ended and the series finale was wonderful, keeping with the theme of the show. Now my curiosity was piqued.
I rented the first season and binge-watched it.
I'm hooked. I have since requested the rest of the series from my library (for some reason it is not available on Netflix). In fact, I am on my way after I post this to rent Seasons 2 & 3. I'm excited.
As a nurse, of course, I found the medical drama interesting, if not a little graphic. But it was the metaphysical aspect that really got me hooked.
The show revolves around a surgeon (Charlie) who is injured in a car accident and goes into a coma. While in the coma he has a profound out of body experience and finds himself roaming the halls of the hospital where he used to work and encountering other spirits who are either in comas or are in the process of passing over to the afterlife. He also witnesses his fiance Alex (a surgical resident) go through her own turmoil as she tries desperately to save him.
And it was this particular aspect of the show that touched me.
Many scenes showed Charlie sitting next to Alex as she spoke to his comatose body or as she cried and mourned the loss of their life together.
And I wondered - is that what it's like for our loved ones as they watch us go through our grief?
Is that what's it's like for me and John?
I think so. My heart tells me this must be so.
I know I feel him with me and I know it is not my imagination.
Sometimes I think I can have a conversation with him. Thoughts come into my head that I know are not mine but that are comforting.
How else could I feel his presence?
Smell his cologne?
Listen just when a special song plays that speaks directly to what I have just been thinking?
How else could I get signs from them - coins, feathers, and, in my particular case, little pieces of glitter?
The series name is aptly called "Saving Hope", a play on words since the hospital that is the setting is called Hope Zion Hospital.
But this belief that I have about our spirit also gives me hope.
A hope - no, make that a confirmation - that there is more to what we can perceive with just our five senses. That we need to expand our awareness of what consciousness is.
As a nurse, I have always known that we need to be careful around our comatose patients - that they can experience life even though they appear to be totally unaware.
And to those of us who like myself mourn the loss of a loved one I say rejoice! Rejoice in the knowledge that our loved ones live on and are very much with us as we continue our journey until we too cross over and are reunited.
What a wonderful glorious day that will be!

Gratitude

I like this picture of John

It was taken in 1972. He was 29 years old.

From my book

I Will Never Leave You – Joy Collins

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