Tuesday, October 19, 2010

It's the little things

It's the little things, the little daily reminders that hit me up side the head and make me realize over and over how much I miss John.  How much I will always miss John. How much he was a part of my life, our life. It's not that I can't do these little daily things. It's that I don't want to have to because it forces me to realize and tangibly experience my loss.
Yes, I can grind the coffee beans at night and prepare the coffeepot for the next day. But John used to do that. It was a simple act of love that he did every night. He knew I was the first one up in the morning [usually] and he made the coffee at night even if he wasn't going to work the next day. All I would have to do when I got up was hit the button and there would be coffee for me. Somehow, that coffee tasted better because he prepared it. Now I do it and it's not the same.

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