Another loss

I just found out a dear friend back east has died. John and I were both friends with her, although I knew her before I even met John. I worked with her while I was married before and then later on, both John and I worked with her. Lois and I knew each other for 35 years. She was with me when I found out my first husband had passed away. I adopted a kitten from a cat of hers. I was her boss the last few years we worked together. She was the night nurse on the psych unit I ran. She would give me report when I came on in the morning. I started my day sharing coffee and laughs with Lois. But she was older than me and recently had been ill and lived in an assisted living center for the last few years. Yet, she and I kept in touch [although sporadically] over the years. I had been avoiding calling her for the last 15 months because I knew I would have to tell her about John and I didn't want to upset her. I often thought about her and she was on my mind these last few weeks. A lot. In fact, last week I looked up the information I had for her and promised myself I would call her soon. The lady sitting next to me in Church on Sunday reminded me so much of her that I vowed I would call her this week.

She died this past Monday. I just found out a few minutes ago.

I am sad for losing Lois. I am sad because at a time like this I would turn to John and we would mourn together and be sad together and help each other.

And he's not here.

damn.