47 months today

It's the 24th of the month again. Another anniversary. This month marks 47 months which means next month will be 4 years since John passed. I can't wrap my mind around that. Four years. Four. Years.
How can that be?
When John and I had been together four years we were already married and had bought our first house together. We were starting a wonderful life.
Now I look back on four years of emptiness, and sadness, and missing the love of my life.
My heart hurts so much.

June 1991

Happy Easter, Sweetheart!

With sweet Toby. I miss you both so much.

A big Hello

I recently took this picture of our deck and when I used it today as my desltop wallpaper I got a big surprise.
That cloud in the upper right hand corner - I think it's Someone I love. :) It doesn't appear in any of the other photos I took and I took a bunch all at the same time.

Happy Birthday, John!

Today would have been John's 71st birthday. We would have had a wonderful day.
Happy Birthday, Sweetheart. I miss you so much.
These photos are from John's 50th birthday party.

29 years ago

I came across these pictures today from 1985.  I don't know why I hadn't scanned them before. Maybe I need to go back through all my pictures again after I finish the first run through and see what else I might have missed. Or maybe the pictures mean more to me as time passes.
I love the colors in these two photos. I love how young we look. They were taken in the Fall of 1985. We were renting a small place in Dallas PA while we were between houses. We knew what kind of house we wanted. We just hadn't found it yet. So our realtor helped us find this little gem to rent. It was out in the country a bit off a road called 42nd Street. I think it was somebody's idea of  a joke when they named the road. The house was small and had been built somewhere around 1770. It had a beautiful sun room and the wildlife was wonderful. We could look out our bedroom window in the morning and see foxes and raccoons and deer. And we believed it was haunted. But the spirits were friendly. We loved our time there.

Still my comforter

I have been worried sick about Riley these past few weeks.But through it all John has found little ways to leave me clues that he is with me, at my side while I care for our baby. It's certainly not how I would like it. If I had my way, John would be here with me physically, always. But I know that's not possible and I appreciate the ways that he shows me I am not alone.
Thank you, Sweetheart.