A hug from John

John came through today in a big way.
I have been very down these past few days. Lots of family stuff going on. Sad stuff.
And I have been really missing John.
This afternoon I was searching in the closet in my office for a large mailing envelope. I couldn’t find the size I wanted but suddenly my fingers touched something wedged in between the envelopes. It wasn’t an envelope and when I pulled it out I couldn’t believe my eyes. They were two notebooks that John and I had used years ago when we went on a marriage retreat. The notebooks are filled with our assignments. John’s essays are literally love letters to me. I couldn’t believe what I was holding.

We had gone to this retreat just to reconnect and have a special space just for us.
I had been looking for these notebooks for years, ever since he died. I knew I had saved them but just could not remember where.
I had prayed to him and anyone else who would listen to help me find them.
I thought for sure they were in his office and I would find them when I pulled that apart but no.
Then I thought my office and looked in all the usual places but no luck.
So I just put the prayer out there to guide me to them some day and lo and behold today they are literally placed in my hands.
I NEVER would have looked there.
And you know why I needed that envelope?
Because of an incorrect item sent to me. I ordered something as a birthday present for a friend in September that never came and then a replacement one was sent and it turned out to be wrong.
I needed that envelope to use for the wrong item.
The vendor asked me to mail it to the recipient it was intended for.
I am astounded by the steps that were orchestrated just to get me to this place.
No matter how often these things happen I am in awe and wonder every single time.
I don’t have to tell you that I cried and I am so happy to have this. I only read a couple of pages. I want to savor this and read a little at a time.
Yesterday I had written in my journal to John. I had poured out my heart about all the things troubling me right now and I had asked him for a hug. I'd say this definitely qualifies.
Thank you, Sweetheart. ❤️💕