Mornings are hard. On the days when John wasn't working, we always had coffee together and sat on the deck [when the weather wasn't too hot as it can get here in AZ]. And the "kids", our dogs Jessie and Toby, would sit with us and we'd talk about anything and everything. We'd plan what we wanted to do with the house, remodeling, etc, and the yard. We'd talk about family and trips we were planning. And we would just be.
Now I have my coffee alone but the kids still keep me company and I have my wonderful memories. So I surround myself in John's love because I know it's still there.
And I listen to the birds just waking up. And the sky pinking up with the first rays of sun and a new day starts.
Without John. And some days I cry. Many days I cry. I miss him. Very much.
But I am grateful we had what we had. I know we were very blessed to have the marriage that we did. We both knew that.
I imagine John still with me now. Just differently. I truly believe he is still here. Just because I can't see him doesn't mean he's not.
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