I have been reading a lot lately about married couples who have been together for many many years dying within hours of each other. How I wish that had been us.
John told me just hours before he passed away that he did not want to be here without me. Odd that he should have said that. He was trying to encourage me to take care of my elevated cholesterol and I promised him that I would.
Yet, here I am without him. And I don't want that either.
But there is nothing I can do about it.
And it hurts.
How I wish we could have been like those old couples who were together in death just as they were together in life.
I remember the night that John died as I cried to my friend that I wanted to die. I still do.
I want to be with John. Everything here is meaningless. I try to tempt myself with thoughts that I still have work to do and that may be true but nothing is as compelling to me as leaving here and being back with my soul mate.
John and I weren't married as many years as the old couples in the article were but we were as close. And nothing would please me more than to close my eyes and see him again and know that we were not going to be separated ever again.
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