In 18 days

I had a meltdown in the car today while driving home.
That seems to be happening a lot lately and is probably because it will be John's anniversary in 18 days.
I cried yesterday during Mass when it was time to hold hands and recite the Our Father. It reminded me of all the times John and I did that together and how at the end he would hug me and say "I love you." I wonder if the man holding my hand yesterday thought it was strange to see the woman next to him with tears streaming down her cheeks.
I was on my way to the bank and had to turn around and go back home - the pains in my stomach were so bad I knew I wouldn't make it through the time it would take to make the deposit. The deposit can wait until tomorrow. My sorrow couldn't.
How is it almost three years already?