This is such a tough time of year

I still have good days and bad days. And this week has had a bunch of bad days.
I saw an older gentleman walking outside a store yesterday and for some reason he made me think of John if he had lived to be an older man.
I wonder what John would have looked like. I wonder what our life would have been like.
I wish we had been able to share our older years together. We thought we would.
I can't wait for Christmas to be over.