This week I have started to go through the garage - organizing old car parts that John was working on and going through his tools in preparation for sale. It's very very hard.
John's spirit and his essence is all over the place.
And I know it's not true and it's not rational but I feel bad doing this. I feel like I am betraying him, like I am erasing him.
What if he comes back and wants to know where his stuff is?
I know that's not going to happen but it's what I feel.
And then to see things that he labeled and put aside, things that he was in the middle of doing and now won't finish. It just makes me unbelievably sad.
Joy, I feel as if I shouldn't be reading these most personal, heartwrenching posts. First let me say how very sorry I am that you have lost your husband. I can't imagine the pain of losing your soulmate. You are such a beautiful couple and I just want to say that my heart goes out to you. The memories you have posted here on this beautiful blog show the wonderful marriage you had. I do think it's good to write down our feelings. I often call my blog free therapy. Seeing it on paper is real, the feelings can be raw and emotional. Somehow, it's healing to our hearts and our minds. Your faith in God will sustain you on your weakest days. Just know that your words reminded me how very lucky I am to still have the love of my life with me. Thank you.
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