Merry Christmas, Sweetheart!

Christmas has got to be the hardest holiday when your loved one has passed on. Everything is about love and family and gatherings and celebrating and happy - and here we who are grieving are, feeling none of that.
If John were here we would have gone to Church last evening. Then we would have had our special Christmas Eve meal in front of the tree while we opened presents and played with the "kids". And I always made a special Christmas ball with our names on it and the number of the Christmas that we were celebrating. This would have been our 34th Christmas together.
This year I purposely avoided doing anything similar to that. It helped ease the pain but it didn't make me miss John any less and I knew it wouldn't. That would be silly. Nothing will make me miss him less.
But on this Christmas morning I celebrate the love he gave me and the love I know he still gives me and I thank God for what we were able to share.
Merry Christmas, John! I love you.